In a life of caring for and raising our animals, loss is unavoidable. We have experienced it. We must learn to live with and learn from it, but I admit, sometimes we struggle.
Recently, we experienced a strong blow. Since acquiring two livestock guardian puppies last year, we have loved, coddled, and trained them to guard our goats and land. One was extremely gentle — we chose her because she sat back and watched the proceedings inquisitively instead of joining her overexcited siblings. Our eldest daughter chose the second: the shaking runt of the litter. We hesitated to agree, but finally decided that a pair was better than a single dog.
Over the months, we have trained them and attempted to keep them within our fences. When we were out of town, however, the young man watching our home called us to say that one of the puppies was wheezing and sluggish. He took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with a respiratory infection.
We kept a close eye on her as soon as we returned and she seemed to improve, albeit slowly. Last night we fell asleep to her doing what she does best — guarding and barking. This morning, when rushing to finish the morning chores so we could pick our blueberry harvest, my children found her on the hill, foaming blood at the mouth and breathing with difficulty.
My husband rushed her to the vet. He called about thirty minutes later. Her body was flooded with toxins and she would soon be gone. Heart failure in our eight-month-old inquisitive puppy.
Loss.
We live off a country road, where, depending on the age of the driver and the time of day, vehicles can either meander through at a leisurely 30 miles per hour or storm by at 60 miles per hour. While I was gone with the children for their piano lessons, a truck hit one of our prized chickens. My husband was with the goats on the hill when he heard some teenagers yell, “Hit it!” He immediately looked to the road, where a truck swerved out of its way to hit and run over our chicken.
Loss again.
How should we look at loss? My children have cried many tears lately. We cry because we miss our dog, because our remaining dog is lonely, because our son experienced his puppy gravely ill, because he brought her home to bury her instead of leaving her at the vet… We cry because people purposely disregard precious life, even though just a chicken. We cry because we have lost.
Why did this happen? I wonder if I ask this question because of my sin. I respond with questions instead of gratitude. My two year is in the stage where he constantly asks “why?” instead of responding with “yes, ma’am” or “yes, sir”. In his sin, he has revealed my sin: constantly asking “why?” to my Creator God.
Yes, Lord, this is your life, not mine. Yes, Lord, this dog and this chicken were your creations, not mine. Praise be to you for the enjoyment you gave me during the time you blessed me with their lives. Thank you that my boy experienced the joy of having a puppy. I do not understand why he needed to experience this loss, but I know it was for his good, so I praise you in our sadness.
I must conclude that loss is made meaningful by knowing that it was never truly our life in the first place, but a gift from the Giver of life.
Have you experienced loss? How do you and your family handle it? What have you learned through it?
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My goodness. We have had loss recently and I consider this post a gift in the greatest way.
Praise be to God! May He be with you in your loss.
We also live on a road where cars can and do go up to 60mph. I can’t imagine that someone would be so cruel as to purposely hit your chicken. I’m so sorry. And so terribly sorry for the loss of your dog. We have four and losing any one of them would be heartbreaking. Hugs and prayers to you and your children.
Thanks for your kind words and wonderful encouragement, Jenny. God bless!
Yes, we know loss…sometimes weekly. I am a single mom and my family has been assembled by God through the hardship and blessing of foster care and adoption. I’ve fostered 25 babies and children — 6 of those lambs have stayed forever (ages 14, 11, 7, 6, and 1 year old twins). That means 19 of them have come and gone. Each one is a loss for us. People often say, “I could never do that. I couldn’t love them and then let them go. I’d be devastated.” I tell them that we cry every time. I consider it an honor to have the opportunity to shepherd my children through the sorrow. I get to train them to bring their tears to Mommy and together we go to Jesus. Recently, I learned that the birth mom of one of my kids had passed away. More loss. More burden-bearing. More training. More seeking comfort from the Comfort Giver. Until Heaven, loss will be a part of this life. We do well to learn to bring it all to Jesus.
I can’t even imagine how much you have had to “die to self” to be able to love all those children and then see them go. May you be blessed as you raise your six, and from what it sounds like, probably more as well. Fostering definitely takes a special person- God be with you as you use your talents to serve in this way!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks, Tracey. Not everyone is called or capable of fostering, but many are. I hope more will take that important step forward as the need keeps growing for loving, safe foster families. It has had a positive impact on my children and has made an eternal difference in their lives.
Praise be to God!
We recently lost our cat Max, in fact we picked up his ashes today from the vet. I really wish we could have buried him but we rent so I wanted him with us when we left here. I have 5 children so this loss has been so hard and I am so sorry for your loss and pain as well. Animals touch our lives in so many ways, at first I was really angry because Max was my friend and my families, we only had 2 1/2 brief years. Thank you for posting this, helped me in so many ways. I am praying for your family and comfort for all of our children combined.
I am sorry for your loss- may you find comfort in the memory of your cat and be eased by time. I share your same sentiments regarding burying our beloved pets- thankfully we had just purchased our home when our 15yr old cat passed. However, we have loved and lost, and had to leave behind others, but the memory of each has not left us. God be with you and your family in this time. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Tracey. Not everyone is called or capable of fostering, but many are. I hope more will take that important step forward as the need keeps growing for loving, safe foster families. It has had a positive impact on my children and has made an eternal difference in their lives.
I just wanted to thank you for a well written “confession”! I believe we may have all been guilty of putting the creature ahead of our Creator at times…I know I have. I have to remind myself that we are “just camping here”. I have begun to hatch, raise, and love chickens in the past year and a half, so I can understand what a loss it is to invest that time and emotion into an animal and then have it snatched away…it seems. (I am a 60 year old retired teacher and NEVER thought I would like chickens sooo much! ) I was robbed of 6 beautiful free-ranging birds late one evening as I had gone to shut them in. A mob of coyotes just “disappeared them” right there with me within sight of them. Shocking! I did ask “why”…but you know, we are living in a fallen world and that is just the nature of coyotes. I now do my best to protect the remainder of the flock much more carefully. May God Bless all of the “Garden Keepers and Husbandmen” out there who can sort of understand what you have gone through with your charges.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I am sorry for your loss. While living in AZ, we had a baby coyote dig a hold under our coop right beneath our bedroom window- I heard the whole thing and thought the squawking was just the egg layers announcing their work. How wrong was I when I went to feed the chickens later that morning!
And yes, may God give us wisdom as we care for the people and animals around us! God bless you!
Your post was a gift to me tonight.
I lost my husband a few years ago, when my girls were 3 and 6. Lately, when I see children with loving fathers, I have felt a darkness and a bitterness of which I am ashamed. You remind me that we were blessed to know love, and to have faith that the reason for our loss may yet reveal itself. In the meantime I will do less questioning and more thanking.
Thank you!
I am so sorry for your loss, Susan. I know each loss is for our good, but I am humbled to think of how great your loss is. I will pray for you and your children, that the Lord equips you for your work of raising them without their father. May this trial, bring you ever so much closer to our heavenly father day in and day out. Thank you for your honesty. I am encouraged by your words to not take the blessings before me for granted. God be with you, Susan.
We have had a rough fall as well. We lost 2 litters of rabbits to bad moms. We lost a turkey and our guinea fowl mom in the road to hit and runs. Our gander challenged our livestock dog one too many times and his rough housing ended in a broken wing, chewed off skin, and internal damages resulting in his death. Two more turkey poults and a young peahen died mysteriously and without much warning. I have dealt with sick kittens (they recovered) a sick goat, and a bout of mastitis in another goat. We found one of our year and half layers dead 2 days ago, no known reason, no wounds.
All this in a few months… It’s hard.