I dreamed of having a natural childbirth.
And at just shy of 40 weeks pregnant, I was ready! The birthing tub had taken up residence by our bedroom window, I’d taken a natural birth class, and I’d even brewed my postpartum herbs into a bath tea. In my spare time, I scoured YouTube for all the water birth videos I could find. 😉
All that was left?
The no small feat of labor!
This is the story of how my husband and I welcomed our son into the world — at home, after 11 hours of labor, with my mom and our midwife.
Early & Active Labor
Since I’d already been contracting for several days after losing my mucus plug, I didn’t think much of my continued contractions as I got ready for bed on a Friday night, 3 days before my due date. They made my back ache like it had never ached before… But I had hot water bottles and a husband at the ready to help me cope. 😉
Then we switched out the lights. A few minutes later, at 10:20 pm, a particularly intense contraction hit. It felt a bit like an earthquake in my abdomen — a squeezing shifting and then a bursting.
After that, it didn’t take long for my life to become all about enduring, breathing, enduring, and breathing. Over and over and over again.
We waited until a little after 1:00 a.m. to call our midwife. By then I’d completely lost track of time. Despite the fact that she had an hour drive, it didn’t seem like very long at all till she had tracked down our house thanks to the blue light bulb installed outside of our garage.
If I wasn’t in the bathroom, I lay in bed, keeping my eyes closed and focusing on breathing hard and deep through contractions so my throat and therefore my cervix would stay relaxed.
I visualized breathing as if I was blowing the pain away — with every exhale a little bit more of the pain would puff away till it was all gone.
Transition
Eventually the contractions intensified so much that I couldn’t relax by simply lying on the bed and breathing. The hot water bottles on my back became too heavy and too hot to stand. My legs shook.
I felt a little nauseous but I actually wished I felt more nauseous so I could throw up and experience some relief.
I reminded myself of my chosen Bible verse — “I will hold my original confidence firm to the end” (Hebrews 3:14) — but mostly all I could think was that I was so tired and it was so hard.
Finally I changed position to all fours on the bed, which did not help at all in terms of pain relief, but at least our midwife was pleased!
Pushing
Then, for 2 contractions in a row, I felt an incredible pushing feeling.
The feeling was so alarming that I gasped out, “It’s pushing down!” as I felt the baby slide farther down the birth canal. I actually fought it as best I could. I’d heard too many stories (thanks to taking natural birthing classes) about moms pushing prematurely and wearing themselves out.
Our midwife then did a cervical exam to see what I was feeling — and found that I was completely dilated and the baby’s head was definitely on its way. And I had thought I still had a long way to go!
So, at 7:30 in the morning, I finally climbed in the birthing tub. It felt amazing. The awful pressure eased and my contractions spaced out a little.
And I could push! That was the craziest thing. Pushing felt so good and active and like it was accomplishing things — but at the same time it’s like it wasn’t even me pushing. I was just along for the ride.
Throughout pushing, one thing really sustained me: ice. Ice water, ice chips, ice rags on my neck and shoulders. All the ice! It was heaven in the midst of the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Eventually I summoned up the courage to feel the baby’s head. And yes, I was slightly apprehensive because everything felt so tight down there and I didn’t know how the addition of fingers could make it any better!
With the next pushes, the baby’s head came down, then up, down, then up again. Our midwife kept checking the baby’s heartbeat.
It really did burn. I tried to be gentle and slow to prevent tearing, but there came a time when I felt like I was going to split in two, yet I knew I had to keep pushing — regardless!
Birth
The moment the baby’s head popped out was explosive — a wet slippery explosion and then our midwife saying “Give me one more good push!”
It felt like my muscles couldn’t push without a contraction to make them push, but I tried anyway, and with a twisting, tugging, pulling feeling our midwife worked the baby’s shoulders out. Then the body slipped out so easily! She handed the baby through my legs to my husband, chunks of vernix floating in the water, and up came the baby to me.
It was 9:11 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
My first impression?
Lusty newborn wails, alert eyes, shiny cheeks, and a huge head.
A boy! (And we still hadn’t picked out a boy name!)
The next couple hours passed with lots of skin-to-skin cuddles and kisses. I felt over the moon happy, incredibly hungry, and also like I’d been blown to smithereens. Mom made us scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon (my dream breakfast).
The placenta birthed much more easily than I’d anticipated. Miraculously, I had only a few minor tears in minor places. Not-so-miraculously, I nearly passed out trying to use the bathroom.
The rest of the day was one long cycle of snuggles and crying and diapers, little kicking feet and little waving hands, and breastfeeding practice. Just before we dropped off to sleep that night, my husband and I decided on a name for our 8-pound, 15-ounce little boy.
Thoughts About Labor & Birth
Labor was grueling throughout, agonizing at times, but I feel blessed and empowered to have done it. I can honestly say that giving birth is a highlight of my life. And I’m so thankful that all went smoothly and safely with no complications — and our baby is healthy!
Also, I am now a firm believer in having postpartum support. I can’t imagine how much harder recovery and transition to life with a newborn would be without my family around to help! The extra hands so I can shower? Priceless! Not to mention the meals, encouragement, and my mom’s help with nursing.
Shoutout to my husband, too, who changed pretty much every diaper during our son’s first couple of weeks. 😉
Although I’ve heard from many women that first-time moms can’t really prepare for labor and birth — or, at least, they can’t know what to expect — I didn’t find that to be true for me.
I took the Mama Natural Birth Course as well as reading both Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and her Guide to Breastfeeding, all of which helped me not only understand the process of birth, but prepare for it mentally, too.
The Mama Natural Birth Course in particular gave me a broad understanding of the various labor interventions and birth procedures available today. I liked knowing the bigger picture so I could make an informed choice if anything did go wrong during labor and we needed to transport to the hospital.
But the class didn’t stop there — it also provided a wealth of information about nutrition, newborn care, and breastfeeding, too. Because of the class, I could picture how my body was preparing for birth as it did so. I knew exactly why my contractions intensified at night thanks to various hormones.
And the birth videos! Each lesson in the class includes a beautiful birth video. Such a treat!
Our midwife also offered monthly and semi-monthly classes as well. It was fun to gather together and learn with other moms due in the same month as myself!
All of the above resources served to inform and inspire me. I was apprehensive — yet I became confident.
Speaking Of Books I Read…
Although it’s too late for me this time, I can’t wait to enjoy a brand-new book — The Mama Natural Week-By-Week Guide To Pregnancy & Childbirth — for my next birth! It already has an honored place on my bookshelf.
And let’s be honest… I don’t have to wait till my next pregnancy to dig in and enjoy it. 😉 I already have! I’ve been devouring anything pregnancy- and birth-related for months now and my interest hasn’t waned yet!
I love how detailed and evidence-based this book is — from researching delayed cord clamping to skin-to-skin contact to ultrasounds to different induction methods. All very important!
Click here for more info or to buy “The Mama Natural Week-By-Week Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth”.
Psst…. When you order your book through this link, you can also claim your FREE EXTRA bonuses including:
- “Shattering Your Fears About Birth” video — Walk into childbirth free from fears from tearing to, yup, pooping in the delivery room
- “From the Birthing Tub” ebook — Get inspired with these true stories of 50 natural childbirths!
Just go here to order the book, then go back to this page to claim your FREE & EXTRA bonuses. Hurry! This offer ends soon.
The One Thing I Didn’t Expect
Breastfeeding was hard. Harder than labor!
In his first week, our son lost a significant amount of weight and my milk supply decreased. For 48 hours we turned to pumping, bottle-feeding, homemade formula supplementation, and lactation aid herbal capsules.
This was a lesson in keeping my priorities straight. I know how amazing breast milk is, and I wanted so badly to be able to feed it exclusively to our son. I also didn’t want him to have nipple confusion from bottle-feeding. But in the end, he still needed to eat. So we had to compromise and trust that we were doing the best we could at the time.
Thankfully, after that 48 hours, my milk production increased again, and our son transitioned back to breastfeeding like a pro.
Our midwife was so helpful throughout — she’s also a lactation consultant!
My life is now topsy-turvy in the most wonderful, sleep-deprived, crazy way. Case in point: I wrote this entire post while nursing!
Will you share your birth experience? Did you birth at home, in the hospital, naturally, in water, or…? I’d love to hear!
Looking for more pregnancy and baby related articles?
- 5 Fertility Superfoods For Women Trying To Conceive
- Pregnancy Nutrition: What To Eat And When Based On Baby’s Development
- How To Encapsulate Your Placenta (& How It Helps With Postpartum Histamine Intolerance)
- 39 Nourishing Postpartum Freezer Meals To Prepare While You’re Pregnant {slow cooker, too!}
- 3 Ways To Exercise While Breastfeeding {lose the baby weight & heal diastasis recti}
- 5 Things That Surprised Me About Baby-Led Weaning! {Is Your Baby A GNOWFGLINS Baby, Too?}
- 25 Natural Gifts For The New Mom On Mother’s Day
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Congratulations! What a blessing!
Thank you!
Haniya,
So happy for you, your husband and your parents, it is such a blessing from the LORD!
In CHRIST,
Deborah Neely
Thank you so much, Deborah. <3
Congrats on a job well done! I birthed all eight of my children in a hospital with epidurals. And each of those eight births were very different. No two were the same. And I wouldn’t change them for anything because that is how my precious children arrived into this world. Enjoy the time because it passes too quickly! Thanks for sharing your birth story! God Bless!
Amen! The arrival of children, however it happens, is a blessing. <3 Thank you, Robin!
Congratulations to all of you! I loved reading your home birth story. Even though you are far away, we think of your family often.Blessings to you all!
Thank you! 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoyed it. We think of you all too!
Congratulations! Good for you that you didn’t give up with the breast feeding when it was hard. I’ve been there three times and it is hard. It will be a wonderful blessing for you and your son. There may be some rough times (like sore breasts from plugged milk ducts) but there are natural ways to get through that too (grated potatoes)! Best wishes!
Grated potatoes! I will keep that in mind. 😉 Thank you, Christine!
Congratulations! So what did you name your baby boy? Or did I miss it? I had 4 homebirths, only the last 2 were water births. For my first one, I didn’t use the tub, not even for labour, but the next 3 times, I had my entire labour in the tub….wonderful:) was there a reason you didn’t get in the tub until pushing was imminent? I found that when I laboured in the tub, I was much more comfortable being surrounded with warm water.
Enjoy your little blessing:)
Thank you, Sarah! We aren’t sharing his name online, which is kind of hard because I love it and want to share it! 😉 Your births sound wonderful. Yes, apparently the warm water can be so relaxing that it slows the progression of labor down, so although my midwife said it was up to me what I did, it’s usual to wait until pushing. I didn’t want to take a chance at slowing things down so I just stayed out. But it sounds like you did just fine in the water!
Isn’t it amazing how God gives us the power of creating a new life? You have begun the journey of parenting. The joys and hardships of these years will strengthen you as you have God’s precious Word as the foundation. Your mandate is to see your son with the baton of faith securely held by him. He is your heritage! God bless you both!
Thank you so much, Patty! It is absolutely amazing!
Congratulations to the Cherry family! Children are such a wonderful blessing. I too have a March baby this year, born the 15th, a sweet little girl. She’s our 10th, though so I have many willing helping hands around. May God bless you with joy, rest, and precious memories as you enjoy your new son.
Aww, how sweet! I love spring babies — they come right when everything else is blooming and coming alive again. Congratulations on your little girl! And thank you so much, Heather!
What a beautifully written story of your little son’s arrival! I am so proud of you, Peanut, and am in love from afar with him! We love you all dearly!
Thank you, Auntie! I can’t wait for you to meet him! <3
Go ‘head, little Mama! Your story is awesome!
Aww, thank you, Beth!
He is adorable! Loved the thank you video I finally got to watch (our net isn’t being nice to us lately…so I have trouble with video’s right now, hopefully will be better in the next month or so). Congrats on your sweet baby boy!!
Thank you, Deb! So glad you enjoyed the video. It was fun to film!
Great job little mama! Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, intimate story. You are so fortunate to have a supportive family! Your strength as a woman shines through! Also, congrats on sticking with breastfeeding. I so wish my daughter would have stuck with it much longer. Speaking of my daughter, I became an “Oma” on February 21 and life will never be the same! I knew I loved my daughter beyond measure, then I looked into the eyes of her daughter- and wow! Just wow! You can read our story in my post, “Preparing for Baby.”
Thank you, Sheila! I am very fortunate to have such a supportive family. They’re the best. 🙂 Aw, congratulations on becoming an Oma! I’m heading over to check out your story now!
I love birth stories! Good job bringing forth your son… I’ve had 12 births. The last one, a so was a little over due. He was due in march.. 5 water births and the last one started out as such .but birthed out of the water. Water births are very comfortable and comforting…thanks for sharing your story..
Wow, 12 births! Congratulations! You’re amazing. 🙂
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your birthing story!
Thank you, Teri!
Congratulations! A home birth would have been my preference, but in the country I live in, home births are illegal (what??). So we had to go with the next best option which was a small private hospital (only 18 beds in the obstetrical ward!). The public hospitals were not an option for us: they won’t even let your husband – or anyone else, for that matter – in during the birth. Not an option for us! While the hospital was nice, it was still a little too medical and “modern” for me; but the doctors and staff were so nice and really did try to cater to our desires, thank the Lord. In the end, we had a healthy, baby boy after 15 hours of a fairly easy labor (up until the last 2 hours of pushing).
By the way, what nursing pillow are you using in the picture?
I can’t imagine not having my husband “allowed” to attend the birth! I’m glad you found an alternative — and have a healthy baby boy!
I’m using the Blessed Nest Nursing Pillow (http://amzn.to/2plPJT6). It’s made from organic cotton and filled with organic buckwheat hulls! An investment to buy, but pretty neat. I love it!
Congratulations! In 2002 my husband and I welcomed our baby boy into the world on March 25. He weighed 8 lbs15.3 oz! He is now 6′ 2″ tall and continuing to grow! We had our children in the local hospital but we used a midwife and kept things as natural as possible. Enjoy every day because the time goes by so quickly.
Wow, that is crazy, Sonya! Our baby was 8 lbs 15.2 oz — I rounded in the post for the sake of simplicity. They’re so close! Your births sound wonderful. 🙂
Congratulations Haniya! What a precious blessing and awesome birth story! I shared a verse with your mom when I saw the email from her. Luke 2:23 I like how the New King James version puts it!
Thank you, Toni! Mom just read your email out loud to me — lovely verse. <3 Thank you so much for sharing!
Dear Haniya,
Your story is beautiful, just like you! Describing everything as you did (do) is just as I imagine, coming from the wonderfully perceptive and thoughtful woman that you are. I know also that your gifts of mothering will constantly shine through all during your son’s life. Overcoming your breastfeeding challenges are another testimony to your courage and faith, and your husband’s. I am so proud to be your grandmother, and wish for you and your special family the greatest joys and happiness always, from Sido and I! We love you so! Sido and Tata
Your words are so sweet and mean so much to me! <3 I love you both!
Oh, and one more thing, WE are great grandparents!
Thank you, my beautiful Haniya, for sharing the miraculous story of your baby’s birth. I am so happy for you and your hubby, and I know what wonderful parents you will be. May God bless your every moment with your little son. You have blessed our extended family…especially my beautiful sister beyond belief. I can’t wait to meet him. Rest well in your family’s love and gratitude, cherish the gracious God-given gift you have received, and know how very blessed you are… Love, Billie
Awww, thank you Aunt Billie! I appreciate your comment so much. Hope all is well!
Dear Haniya and family,
Congratulations! I loved reading your story. I am glad you and your little one were able to continue with nursing.
I gave birth back in the age of dinosaurs. 😉 Almost 40 yrs. ago. Without boring anyone with the details, I had major complications and was told my baby could die or be retarded (that was the word they used), but PTL I had a healthy son!
I don’t know how I would’ve ever gotten through those 3 days if I hadn’t taken a Lamaze class! I highly recommend taking classes to prepare for birth.
God bless!
Oh wow! Yes, praise God that he was born healthy! I couldn’t agree more about taking birth classes to prepare. They make such a difference.
Congratulations! I have 4 children. We had all 4 in hospital with a midwife. I was able to breastfeed them all and they were all different! Cherish the moments they fly by so quickly. My oldest is now 26 and my youngest heading off to high school next year. There are 8 years between my 3rd and 4th child. They were and are all blessings in their own way. My Middle daughter has moved almost 1000 miles away and I only get to see her once a year. As I said cherish them while you can! 🙂 smiles and kisses Amy
Thank you, Amy! Great advice — I am determined to make the most of this new baby time! Already almost 6 weeks have gone by so fast. I know the rest of it will too!
It’s wonderful that you were able to breastfeed all 4 of your children!
Love your little baby desk stool. 😀 Yep, I always threw up right at transition once or twice, then it was done. Harder that you just had lingering nausea. First baby was sunny side up and I only ever felt the uncontrollable urge to push ONCE. That was hard, but it was an unmedicated delivery at least. Second baby was positioned correctly and much easier to get out. Loved my midwives. They were registered nurse midwives and met us at the hospital. I am so impressed that you guys shared your experiences with breastfeeding, as well as the softening of you and your mom’s strong feelings breast only preference. It’s very brave to alter your stance and you were still able to get back to breast, which is awesome. I wish I had known more about things like lip and tongue tie when I had my second baby. Breast feeding was a dream the first time and torture the second kiddo. Looking back and looking at her mouth now, I think she had tongue tie and I know she had upper lip tie. I figured it out after my sis-in-law went through it with her first and caught it. I do mourn a little over the lost feeding time, because I weaned her early due to the discomfort. She was a great eater, but it was terrible for me and I remembered how nice it had been with my first, who self weaned at 13 months.
I wish you and your family all the best. You have the wonderful blessings of those around you and I know all the people in the cooking groups are rooting for you as well.
Enjoy your precious little boy!
Haha, thank you! It was a stroke of genius! The legs of the stool are wedged between the slats in our bedframe. 😉
Oh, so sorry about the lip and tongue ties. Our midwife checked a few hours after birth for any ties in our son — which I’m so thankful for! It seems like a very important thing to do, given how detrimental ties can be for breastfeeding.
Also, our son was sunny side up for at least his last several weeks in the womb. I’m not sure when he flipped, or if he did at all! I DID have quite a lot of back labor, so maybe he didn’t.
Thank you so much for your comment, Kelly! I love hearing the experiences of other moms. So special. 🙂 God bless!
I had three natural births–one home, one hospital, one birth center. All were with midwives. All were precipitous, less than three hours from start to finish. Two were in water, which was so nice. My last babe was my easiest. Labor started shortly after seven in the morning. We arrived at the birth center at bit before 8 where I my only exam revealed I was at 6 cm. I got in the warm water right after, and it was AMAZING!! So much help with relaxing and pain relief, even though there was not much discomfort to start with. Baby number three was born shortly before 9! All was smooth and easy until that last contraction where my water broke, and head was born all in one contraction. Big fan of water birth here!
Congrats on that sweet babe. Enjoy the cuddles.
Wow, Michelle! Your births sound like something else. I can’t imagine it being all over in less than 3 hours! And yay for water birth! 😉
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your birth story! I had my baby girl nearly 6 months ago. I read the same books and took the same class and also felt quite prepared for birth. My midwife actually called me a pro! Like you though, I was not prepared for how difficult breastfeeding would be. So happy that your milk came in! Possibly due to a combination of lip/tongue ties and insulin resistance, mine never did (max of 8 ounces a day) but I’m happy to say I tried my absolute best and am still comfort nursing 6 months later. Hoping I have a better chance with my next baby!
Oh, how fun to be in the same boat! My midwife was very complimentary too — she said she was super impressed with how aware I was of my body and what it was doing, and how calm I was, especially for a first time mom. I already was very happy and grateful for my labor and birth experience, but it’s always nice to hear that from someone on the outside too!
I’m so sorry about your milk! I wouldn’t have understood this prior to breastfeeding, but (at least for me — perhaps for you as well) I felt such an emotional need to breastfeed, like somehow it was tied to my identity as a woman. Of course, not being able to breastfeed doesn’t make anyone any less of a woman, but despite knowing that intellectually, the struggle and the feeling was still there for me. At that point, knowing that I did the best I could really made all the difference. 🙂 I’m so glad you can rest on that too — and comfort nurse! That’s wonderful. I wish you all the best for your next baby 🙂
Funny how you can know something intellectually but the feelings about it still win! I definitely agree with you about the emotional need to breastfeed. I always expected to breastfeed when I had children, so I was in shock that it wasn’t that easy but at least I had all that will and determination to keep me going. I was so blessed to have so much support around me. The struggle is real, but it has helped me grow as a person!
Congrats! I’ve been reading your mom’s blog for at least 7 years, and it is so fun to see the next generation. Good job mama!
Aww, thank you, Christie! It’s hard to believe it’s been so long!
My sons were all delivered by c- section, many years ago, by necessity. After all of these years, the joy of each birth, the victory and miracle of healthy babies born, is still fresh.
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me understand the reasoning and joy in home births. How exciting! Your story brings back memories of those thrilling days of new babes and the privilege of motherhood. Now, I stand by for my children as they begin their families. What a blessing!
You have a wonderful perspective, Joy! I was born via c-section too, although unlike your babies, it may not have been as necessary as the doctor originally believed. But as you say, the birth of healthy babies is beautiful and wonderful no matter what! Your children are blessed to have such a supportive mother!
Congratulations on your lil’ blessing! I loved reading your story as I was praying for you during your last weeks. I have 13 children and they were all born in a hospital. My midwife is fondly named, “Mom” as she delivered 10 of our children. She was the delivery room nurse for our daughter and got to assist with a second generation coming into the world! I too had a very hard time getting my first son to nurse. Back in ’83 they gave me demerol to “relax” me…before my midwife…long story. Well, when that worked out of his system after one week he took to nursing fine. But that was a LONG WEEK. I felt like a failure! So, Mommas, don’t give up, you can do it! My biggest advice for pregnancy and postpartum is red raspberry leaf tea. It is my “go-to”, and with one pregnancy I was tooooo busy to think of myself and forgot my pregnancy regimen and paid for it dearly with a long labor!
Enjoy these early months…even the late nights and early mornings, as others have said (even though it doesn’t feel like it) they will pass all too quickly. Praise God for your Mom! What a blessing!
Oh, thank you so much for your prayers, Val! What a history you and your midwife have — I would love to birth with the same midwife for the rest of my pregnancies. And how neat she got to help with your daughter’s birth, too.
I kept meaning to brew myself red raspberry leaf tea throughout my pregnancy, but I just never did. I would love to next time, just to see what a difference it will make! I did eat dates for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy, though, thanks to reading a study that, while small so not terribly conclusive, touts dates for an easy labor. I thought it would be worth a shot. 😉
Congratulations on the birth of your son And your transition into motherhood. I am a Midwide who helped a little girl on April 25, 17, whose mom was helped by you & your mothers information on fermented foods and changing your diet. So…. congratulations and Thank You. Keep Sharing your wealth of information
That’s wonderful to hear, Mary! Thanks for sharing! And congrats to the new mama!
Congrats Haniya! I had 5 children. 3 boys born at the hospital. My 2 girls born at home. I loved my home births!
Thanks, Jenny! That is wonderful — so fun to hear!